"To him nothing could compensate for the lack or loss of that fellowship with God and meditation on His word which are the support of all spiritual life."
-a comment about George Muller's habit of secret prayer
(George Muller of Bristol by A.T. Pierson)
Just a few minutes ago, I realized that I have in a sense turned this trip into something about me. Before I came, I was blown away at how God provided for ME to come. Since I've been here, I've thought about what God has planned for ME to do here and for ME to learn. I found myself today waiting to get on the internet when Jason asked if I wanted to talk about some ideas for reaching the youth in Chincha and getting them involved with Iglesia Emanuel. I realized that I was thinking about myself instead of the people I have come to serve and share the hope that I have in Christ. I have come to the conclusion that something has to change.
One of the things that occupied a lot of my time when I was back in the States was tv and internet. Well, I don't have tv here but I do have the internet. Lately, I've found myself occupying myself with the internet when I would get bored...posting blogs, posting pictures, checking my email and Facebook, etc. I have spent time in the Word and in prayer, but I have been convicted about my lack of devotion to it. I read some Scripture and prayer real quick, and I'm done. I have been convicted a lot lately at how I seek after God to find Him and then ask Him for something.
My desire is to seek after God with all my heart to find Him (Jeremiah 29:13), and then simply BE with Him. God has been teaching me some about trusting completely in Him and being totally abandoned to Him, and I can't do that if I am not spending unhindered and unrushed time with Him. How will I know what God has for the day, much less the rest of my life, if I don't spend time with Him getting to know His character and His vision for the world? As a disciple of Christ, I have spent little time sitting at His feet, feasting on His Word, and drinking in His Spirit. I want to know my Lord and be able to hear my Shepherd's voice. It is not something that can happen over night. I know that I will not have perfected it in a week, but I know that God has taken me out of my normal environment to grow me to be more like Him. And I have not allowed much of a chance for Him to work in me. Therefore, I will not be posting any blogs or pictures or sending any emails until me and Jason go to Lima for a couple of days at the end of next week. So, until next week...Adios!
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