"Little Deaths"

For the past several months, my desires have been in tension with God's desires. But it was not until yesterday that the full realization of it all hit me. Lately, I have been reading a book by Elisabeth Elliot called Passion and Purity (thanks Charla!). I recently read a chapter called "Little Deaths." In this chapter, she ties waiting on God with dying to ourselves (not really so much tying it together but revealing what is already there). As I was thinking about that and other things that I had read in that book, things started to come together for me in my mind. I'll give you the Nick Jones paraphrase...

"As we wait upon God, we are to be seeking after Him. As we seek after Him, He promises that, if we do so with all of our hearts, we will find Him. When we find Him, we will hear Him speak. When we hear Him speak, we are commanded to be obedient. Many times, that act of obedience will also require a part of us to die."

Elisabeth Elliot goes on to point out that we are not to die simply to die, but as we die to ourselves, we are able to be reborn in God. In America, salvation is seen many times as a one-time event. However, it is something that we are to work out our entire lives (Philippians 2:12-13). Just as we lived for many years in sin, so too will it take many years for all of that to be stripped away.

With all of that said, I realized, as I was reading, that I have been waiting on God and other things in my life. I was trying to listen to God and wait for other things to change at the same time, and neither was happening. For the first time, I believe that I have laid all my desires on the altar of the Lord... And I feel so alive! God is the first thought on my mind. The uncertainty of my future has been replaced with a joy for the present. Through dying to my desires, I have come alive.

Jim Elliot told Elisabeth Elliot when they had to be apart for a time while they were dating, "Wherever you are, be all there. Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God." The past few months, my mind has dwelt many times in the past wondering why things have happened the way they have and also in the future wondering how my life will go. All of this is futile because the only thing that I can really do is live in the present alone. I must learn from my past, hope for the future, but LIVE in the present. I am in Peru right now. So that is where I am going "be."

The only thing we are given is today. What we do with it is up to us? I want my today's to count for His eternal glory! Each day is a completely new day...nothing like yesterday and totally different from tomorrow. There is no 1-2-3 step process of following Christ, but as we rise each day and wait on Him, seek after Him, hear Him, die to ourselves, and obey His leading, we will become more intimate with Him (which is what He desires so much). As that happens, we will become more like Him, and His desires will be our desires. And our today's will make an eternal impact for His glory that would not be possible on our own!

"God, give us the grace to be obedient servants to you. Give us the strength to endure till the end. Make us instruments to be used by you to complete your purposes. Let us be like the "bread" that Jesus broke to feed the 5,000 that as we are broken we will be used to bless many in your name. Show us your ways and give us the courage to walk in them. May all the glory be yours! In the name of Jesus, Amen and Amen."